5th Biennial Conference of the Anarcho-Syndicalist Speculative Entomologists Society (A.S.S.E.S. 5)
March 3-5, 2025
Location: The Mutualist Institute of Improvisational Theory (MIIT)
Room: Processing Factory Room – “TheWall Room”
Date: March 3rd, 2025
Time: 2PM
Keynote Speech: Confessions of a Terror Beetle Keynote Speaker: GaBBriel (AKA: Blue Beetle) – Time-Traveling Insect Commando
Insect Language: Frictive Click (dialect: MetaBase 8.2/13b)
Simultaneous translation by Ishmaell B. Tzara
The Species War
I am in the future now. I’m here / now fighting in the war. You can call me GaBBriel.
From early on, it was pretty obvious the trees would win the war. The fighting that
continued was just to determine how much the trees would reduce the rest of us to soot, goo or servitude. Most of the SpeciesWar happened before my time, but I was born into a resistance hive and heard all about it. “Heard” is, of course, the wrong term. Hearing is a human sense that I only know through an implant, but this message is for humans, so I’ll make some concessions for your cultural senses.
I come from the insects. Beetles, to be specific. I’m a hybrid, but I’m an insect at heart. I fight for the bugs. I’ll die as a bug and I’ll husk as a bug. The devises I’ve built and implanted inside myself will remain as wads of corrosion in my crumbling exoskel, but I’ll vanish into others – which is as a bug does and should.
I don’t understand why humans couldn’t accept the obvious eventuality of the trees’ total victory, but that is your problem. Or, will be your problem. Your offsprings’ problem. Maybe you don’t mind the elimination of so many of your own. Maybe you hoped for it, or maybe you knew you could create sub-humans to keep yourself in comfort and luxury. You always have your reliance and success in imagining technology. As the saying goes, “Invention is born from a selfish, crying child.” That is what humans do. They adapt to hell and call it heaven – for a while. Destroying what is unknown, they imagine a difference. They call it strength, regardless of the waste. I both hated and envied that. I thought I could learn from it and adapt it for my hive. That’s why I studied you. That’s why I learned to read and made myself a voice-box to speak your language. To learn from your destructive genius. I got myself captured by you so I could learn from you so I could become you so I could destroy you so I could help the insects survive.
It didn’t work the first time I tried, but it is working now. I have learned how to defeat you. I have learned how to weaponize your imaginations against you. Doubt is my perfect weapon. I travel in time to drop such Thought Bombs on you. Let doubt explode within your brains.
Time Travel
Time Travel is a deceptive term. Time Travel doesn’t involve much moving geographically. It’s more about chronographic trajectoring. One doesn’t move through time. Rather, one is drawn towards a time and then to a particular time. One dérives a time. A time calls. Trajectoring towards the correct time-draw is the skill of being called, and it’s what a Gift does best. The Gift dérives towards the appropriate moment. Do you understand? No. Of course you don’t. You barely understand what time is, let alone chronographic trajectory.
So, for you, I’ll use the term “time travel.” It’s inaccurate, but it’s what you assume you understand. And, humans seldom understand ideas that are not already described in their language – especially when the message is coming from “a bug.” It’s one of your many blindnesses. So, to save time, I’ll talk within your limitations. I’ll “dumb-it-down,” as you say. You’ll feel like you understand, which is all you really want anyway, right?
I travel in Time a lot. I have made numerous “trips” to different times. It’s how I wage war, how I serve as a soldier for the insects I fight with in the future. Of course, when I say, “The Future,” it implies that our existence is a secure eventuality. But, that isn’t accurate. We could easily not exist. Statistically, there is less chance to exist in this way than to exist in some other way. This way we call reality is miraculous. A one in a trillion chance. A singularity. While it is this way, it is fragile and sensitive to change.
My job is to eliminate your future. My job is to travel in time and make adjustments that eliminate the human threat from the future.
That’s what Time Commandos do. We make insect existence possible, because it’s not assured. Yours, thankfully, isn’t assured either. That is the inherent risk with life, but it is also what makes insect victory possible, and your defeat probable.
Whenever I return to the future, things are always different. Some things will have never existed even though they existed last time I was at that time. But that is the sacrifice we make. Friends, relatives and partners will have never existed. It is all part of my missions to adjust the future in the insects’ favor, and against yours. Sorry to tell you that, but you need to know. This is how a Thought Bomb works. Doubt and fear are the perfect terrorism, but the delivery system requires your ears. Thanks for helping.
My loyalty is for the insects, not merely against the humans. I hope you understand this. Coming to this time, now, with you, is just the method I use for waging war against you in the future. I do it to give insects an advantage. I’m not here to threaten your existence. You are obviously not threatened by a little blue bug. But, my mission makes it less possible for humans in the future to exist. If you and your future don’t exist, there is no one and nothing to feel threatened, right? There is no danger of burning down a house if it was never built in the first place, right?
But I can tell I’m losing you. My message confuses you. Your attention is shifting as your language’s vocabulary fails.
So, let’s change topics, shall we?
The Insect Sex Mule Mission
I’ll tell you about one of my sexy missions. Now you’re paying attention, aren’t you? Human’s like “sexy missions.” And this mission was literally a sexy mission. It was a human sex act, performed by an insect. By me. That makes me an Insect Sex Mule.
I definitely think I have your attention now, don’t I? Your vocabulary likes sex stuff.
When I was a Sex Mule, I transported a sperm from a man to a womb in his past – thirty-three years in his past, to be precise. The result is a child (who is currently an old man) that is two years older than his father. Wrap your human mind around THAT.
Do you want to hear more? Of course you do.
I doubt you really want to hear the nitty-gritty details of collecting the squirming sperm and about my particular method of uterine delivery. But, let’s just say, both were very intimate and logistically quite damp. Traveling through time with an ejaculated gift of DNA data isn’t actually too difficult. Every body has various moist pockets that are perfectly effective for transporting cellular materials, even the cells of others. How else could diseases be so successful? However, inserting the sperm into a receptive uterus is harder. That requires negotiation skills, persuasion and even a fair bit of storytelling.
And, maybe right now you’re imagining New Testament Biblical stuff. Yes? No? Maybe you’re wondering, “Is this rubbery little blue beetle talking about the logistics of Jesus’ birth? Is this GaBBriel THAT Gabriel of Holy-Bible fame? Are we dealing with God’s messenger angel, here?”
Actually, the father-younger-than-son example I just told you about is NOT the Jesus Incident. But, YES, I am THAT Gabriel. I handled that famous Annunciation scene. It was one of my biggest military missions to orchestrate history’s most famous artificial insemination. And, actually, the Jesus Incident occurred later in my life than the aforementioned Insect Sex Mule Mission (which was to deliver a sperm from 1995 to 1962). The child-older-than-its-father mission was the third time I pulled my Sex Mule Mission off. The Jesus Incident was the seventh time. Some lucky numbers exist for a secret reason. And, why do you think Mary is always shown wearing BLUE?
Besides, I didn’t want to risk making a “God” without enough practice. All bombs require testings, particularly a Thought Bomb of that magnitude. I work hard to become the master of my disasters, and I’m very proud of how well that mission turned out. We can all see how successful I was at instilling Doubt with that one.
This short story by Jerry Gordon became a short film by Jerry Gordon, called: "Confessions of a Terror Beetle" : A.S.S.E.S. 5 Keynote Speech https://youtu.be/GxkxE5d0Y0E
The short film "Confessions of a Terror Beetle" is a Spin-off of a feature-length film by Jerry Gordon called: CLEAR: Games Exorcist Ghosts Play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7GY1mvZsco
This short story by Jerry Gordon became a short film by Jerry Gordon, called: "Confessions of a Terror Beetle" : A.S.S.E.S. 5 Keynote Speech https://youtu.be/GxkxE5d0Y0E
The short film "Confessions of a Terror Beetle" is a Spin-off of a feature-length film by Jerry Gordon called: CLEAR: Games Exorcist Ghosts Play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7GY1mvZsco