The Workshop
All the students except for Kai looked their usual selves, sitting with their backs on their chairs, their arms draped casually on their sides. Kai sat in his usual seat, the middle seat of an unusually long table that made it impossible for him to see the faces of those that sat on his side. He leaned back on his chair casually, hoping he could at least copy everyone else’s postures. Whatever it took to blend in, he was doing it.
Kai knew he was the only one without a story. He knew his classmates to be extremely responsible students; nobody in his class came into this workshop without a story on hand for the past twelve weeks. It was unlikely for anyone else to be sitting here unprepared. The thought made him extra sweaty. He could feel his breath quickening, and his intake becoming sharp. He had to control it or else he’s pretty much giving away his stupid mistake. The only thing he could do now was to wish the professor wouldn’t call on him to share today. Usually she called on several students on the spot to read their stories out loud for critique by other students in the class. Considering he went two weeks ago, Kai hoped he was safe for today.
The professor sat elegantly at the edge of the long table, what Kai referred to as the “birthday seat.” She looked around the room at her students as she talked about this week’s readings, which Kai also didn’t do. Time didn’t exist for him this week. At least not for school assignments. But he wasn’t going to regret his long nights spent on online gaming. If he gave into guilt, he was going straight to misery and he didn’t want to end up there on top of everything else.
“Okay, who wants to share?” the professor asked the room, as she clasped her hands together. Silence. Not even the sounds of jackets scraping could be heard. Everyone looked down at their laps, and Kai did the same.
Please don’t pick me, please don’t pick me. Kai could almost hear everyone collectively chanting this in their brain. Unlike many creative writing workshops, friendship in this one didn’t exist. In other workshops Kai was a part of, there was an active group chat and students also lingered for a while after class just to talk. In this one, everyone left immediately after the professor ended the class. The only time everyone had something in common was when everyone collectively tried to avoid getting called to share their work. The idea of everyone sharing a chant made him smile despite his situation.
“Kai. Why don’t you go first.”
Maybe smiling wasn’t a good idea, he thought. He looked up, and found the professor smiling very kindly at him.
“Sure? But I’m not confident with this one.” I don’t even have a story to not feel confident about, he added in his brain.
The professor assured him it was fine. She didn’t give him the option to opt-out. Damn.
“Okay, here goes nothing, I guess.” Kai’s palms were starting to sweat. His mind whirled for something to say. Fourteen pairs of unsmiling eyes stared right into his soul. He had to present something or else those eyes would become stares of shame. Kai wasn’t sure which was better.
He had to give something. Anything.
The silence was starting to become unsettling as he tried to come up with something. A story, to be precise.
He looked up again to those staring eyes and something snapped inside him. Why bother at all? They didn’t consider Kai as a strong writer from the start - Kai could tell from their attitudes - so there was nothing to be lost.
It was time to shine a light on his creative mind. He thanked his luck that this week’s assignment was to write a 300 word short story. At least that seemed manageable.
Kai took a deep breath before he prepared his mind to conjure up a story that wasn’t great but still presentable. Enough for his classmates to not look down on him.
“That looks absolutely amazing on you, the shop clerk said. Nina didn’t believe the woman. That’s what every shop clerk said. She was not going to fall for that, especially when she knew that the dress made her look like a balloon. Nobody wanted to walk into a formal looking like that. I’m not sure, it doesn’t feel right. I think I’ll go with something else, Nina replied. The shop clerk’s smile tightened. Really? I think it looks just right. I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’ve never seen this dress worn this elegantly ever before until you. Nina did not have the energy to deal with a lunatic. She thanked her, and reached to close the curtains. The shop clerk got to it first. No, I really mean it. And besides, this dress is 50% off only today. So now is your chance. Nina forcefully closed the curtains. Pretty loudly too. She didn’t care, she was so out of there. As she slipped out of the dress, Nina could hear a little shuffling outside of the curtains. When she was back in her own clothes and opened the curtains, the shop clerk was still there. To Nina’s surprise, she was standing there with five different colors of that balloon-looking dress. If green was not your color, we also have them in red, yellow, blue, purple, and pink. You seem like a yellow dress kind of person, the shop clerk pushed the yellow dress into Nina’s arms. We can make it into a 70% off deal as well. Nina felt defeated. She went home with the hideous dress. On the day of the formal, her boyfriend asked her where she got the dress. He said, I think you look your best in this dress. Seriously? Nina was appalled. What was wrong with this world? Or was she the one who saw the world differently?”
He hated the story. He didn’t have the guts to look at his classmates, let alone his professor. He was scared of their judgements.
“Thanks Kai. Okay, comments?” The professor asked the entire class.
Silence. No movement at all in the classroom. Kai knew it was over for him. His talented classmates already thought he was not cut out for fiction writing. But with this one? They might not even look him in the eye anymore, or even acknowledge his presence.
“I’ll start then,” the professor spoke after what felt like an eternity. “I think this might be the strongest piece you have ever written in this class. Although I’m not certain if this story had to start with dialogue. But other than that, I think it’s strongly written.”
Wait, what? Kai looked up with a start. The entire class was nodding along to the professor. Kai was appalled. Instead of looking at him with disgust, his classmates were somehow looking at him with respect shining in their eyes.
While a praise from the professor should have made Kai feel full of pride and joy, it made him feel sad. A wave of sorrow overcame him and drank him up. His on-the-spot story was much better than his actually-sitting-down-to-write story. This made him question the amount of work he had been putting in this class. What were all the late nights for?